A Shot in the Dark
by GleeFan412
Summary: Quinn comes to terms with her sexuality.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ever since I saw that bathroom scene I couldn't get this out of my head, so I had to write it down. I don't follow the scene word for word, but I hope you like it anyway! Anyone reading my other Faberry story, I promise I'm almost done with the next chapter. Thanks for reading! Any reviews would be greatly appreciated.**

**A/N 2: I started this right when the Michael Jackson episode aired, and the story has just grown longer than I thought. Instead of a one shot, I think I'll put it up as two parts.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or its characters, etc Also, I've used some bits and pieces of Just a Kiss by Lady Antebellum to fit the story**

**A Shot in the Dark **

**Part 1**

_Just a shot in the dark that you just mightBe the one I've been waiting for my whole life_

Out of the corner of her eye Rachel saw Quinn head to the girls bathroom and resisted the urge to rush right after her. She closed her locker and slowly counted to ten before pushing the door open and found Quinn fixing her makeup at the mirror.

Quinn saw Rachel's reflection in and mirror and did her best to avoid eye contact until Rachel began talking to her. She noticed that Rachel seemed nervous and could only guess at what she possibly had to say, that couldn't wait until Glee club.

"Hey, Quinn. Can we talk for a minute?"

Quinn capped her lipstick and slowly turned to face Rachel. "Of course, what's going on?"

Rachel glanced around to make sure they were alone before answering. "I need your advice about a really important decision I have to make. I know we're not the best of friends or anything, but we're getting there right? I can tell you anything?"

Quinn's curiosity was more than piqued now than ever. "Sure we're sort of friends. Just tell me Rachel. The first period bell is going to ring any minute."

Rachel took a deep breath before speaking again. "Well, Finn asked me to marry him."

Quinn was silent as she adsorbed the information. Her heart began to beat against her chest and she felt like she was going to be sick. That was the last thing she thought she'd hear Rachel ever say. Finn wasn't as dumb as he acted, he knew he had it too good with Rachel to let her go.

"Quinn, please say something," Rachel pleaded as she took a step closer towards the taller girl.

"What…what did you say?" Quinn finally asked, her voice barley above a whisper. Why did she feel like she had just been punched in the stomach?

"I told him I needed to think about it. I couldn't just make a big decision like that on the spot."

Slight relief flooded Quinn's body knowing that Rachel didn't say yes immediately. "You have to say no," she said without really thinking.

"Why? People my age get married all the time, and well, can you give me a really good reason to say no?"

"It's just not right Rachel, you're supposed to go off to New York and become a big star. Finn will only drag you down."

Rachel took another step closer to Quinn. "Is that the only reason you want me to say no?" she asked, slight hope in her voice, looking Quinn directly in the eyes.

Quinn tried to step back but felt the cold porcelain sink hit her back and knew she was trapped. She was beginning to feel claustrophobic, her heart beating even faster than before, and sweat began to bead on the palms of her hands. Rachel's lavender scented shampoo filled her nostrils and she was dangerously close to losing any willpower she still had and telling Rachel the truth as to why she didn't want her to marry Finn. "I know what it's like to have your life not go the way you thought it would and I don't want that for you," she said honestly.

Rachel tried to hide her disappointment at Quinn's answer. She had really thought Quinn would have given her a different reason to not accept Finn's ring.

Needing to change the subject, Quinn shoved her letter in Rachel's hand.

"What's this?" she said after a moment.

Quinn began to breathe a little easier as Rachel took the letter from her and took a step back, widening the gap between them. "Just read it," she answered as her heart began to beat at a normal rate again.

"Quinn! This is incredible! You got into Yale? I'm so happy for you." Rachel grabbed Quinn into a big hug. "You deserve this," she whispered into Quinn's ear.

Rachel's breath against Quinn's earlobe sent shivers down her spine. "I'm just glad to finally be able to get out of here."

"Yale's pretty close to New York you know," Rachel said with a smile as she let go of Quinn. "Any reason why you chose a school near to where I'm going? Or well hope to go, at this point I doubt I'll make it as a finalist."

Quinn decided to ignore Rachel's question. "You know you're going to make it, Rachel. You're one of the most, if not the most, talented person I know. You know in your heart you're going to need to say no to Finn, and well, maybe even break up with him if you're going to achieve your goals. Please, don't let Finn ruin everything you've been working for since knew how to set goals."

"Well I have been dreaming of this day since I won my first vocal competition when I was three," Rachel said with a laugh.

Quinn couldn't help but laugh along with Rachel, her laugh was infectious. The bell rang and she started to gather her stuff and put it back in her bag.

"I better get to class, I don't want to be late," Rachel said, but her feet seemed to ignoring her brain and walked her closer to Quinn again. "Thanks again for listening," she said, eyes fluttering closed, as she leaned in to kiss Quinn on the cheek.

Quinn immediately blushed upon contact with Rachel's lips. "Yeah, good luck with your decision," she stammered as she watched Rachel hurry out of the bathroom, and quickly decided she was in no state to go to class. She left the bathroom and made the way her way outside to her old spot under the bleachers. She sighed in relief when she saw the spot was empty and the Skanks were elsewhere. She sat on the couch that she had talked Coach Sylvester into getting for her and pulled out her phone. With shaking fingers she typed out a text, **Say no because that night over the summer meant more to me than you'll ever know**. Quinn couldn't bring herself to send the message, instead she shoved her phone bag into her bag and let her mind wander back to that night.

_**Flashback to the summer**_

_Lyin' here with you so close to meIt's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breatheI'm caught up in this moment, caught up in your smileI've never opened up to anyoneSo hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms_

"Quinn, I'm having a pool party to kick off the summer tomorrow, and you're coming."

"I don't have a choice, Santana?"

"Nope, besides Brittany really wants you to come, and you can't disappoint Brittany. Oh yeah, you can invite Berry too, if you want."

Quinn's voice caught in her throat, she wasn't expecting to hear that from Santana. "Why would I care if Rachel came?" she said evasively.

"For starters, you just called Berry by her actual name. Secondly, anyone with eyes can see that you have the hots for the little annoying diva."

"I'm…I'm not gay," Quinn choked out.

"Hey, Quinn, do you know who you are talking to? I'm not one for labels, I don't care if you like the midget or not, but just invite her. Tell her the whole glee club is coming if that makes you feel better. I have to go, I have to get ready for a date with Britts. See you tomorrow?"

"I'll be there." Quinn hung up with Santana and twirled her phone in her hand, thinking of the most nonchalant way to call Rachel. She finally decided she better just do it before she lost her nerve, and didn't go to the party at all. With her thumb hovering over Rachel's name, she took a deep breath and hit send.

"Hello, Rachel Berry speaking, who's calling please?"

Quinn stifled a giggle before answering. "Hey Rachel, it's Quinn."

"Quinn? Why are you calling me? How do you even have my number?" Rachel asked. She was pleasantly surprised yet cautious that Quinn Fabray was actually calling her on purpose.

"I, um have your number because of Glee club, and well I wanted to ask you a question."

"Ok, go ahead, what is it that you want to ask me?"

"Santana's having a party and she wanted to make sure you got invited."

"Wait, is this for real? If this is just another way for all of you to berate me about kissing Finn and losing Nationals, no thank you."

"It's just the opposite," Quinn explained. "We're having a big Glee bonding so we can all get over that and focus on winning this year."

Rachel was quiet for a moment. "You promise Santana isn't going to try to beat me up?"

"I promise this isn't some elaborate plan to beat you up."

"Oh, well in that case, I'll be there. Just let me know when and where."

"Tomorrow afternoon at Santana's house."

"See you tomorrow Quinn."

Quinn stared at her phone for a minute after Rachel had hung up with a stupid grin on her face. Maybe this summer wouldn't be so bad after all.

/

Quinn looked at herself in the mirror then back to her watch for about the tenth time in the last five minutes. She was still extremely self conscious of her body ever since having Beth and she couldn't find anything to wear. She finally decided that a black one piece bathing suit would have to do, threw a sundress on over it, and was on her way out the door when at the last minute she decided to grab an overnight bag just incase. Santana was bound to have alcohol at this party, and who knows what was going to happen. The party was well underway by the time Quinn got there and let herself into the large backyard. Her eyes scanned the vast backyard before joining the party. The boys had already set up some video game on the large flat screen tv that was just outside the pool house, the girls were all off in different groups, and finally her eyes landed on Rachel. She felt like she forgot to breath as she watched Rachel talking animatedly to Mercedes, her long dark hair flowing in large curls, she was wearing nothing but a bikini top and shorts there were so short, she may as well not wear them at all. For a person of her stature, she had legs that went of for days and Quinn couldn't help but stare.

"Geez Quinn, why don't you just jump her already?" Santana said, as she walked up to Quinn, and shoved a plastic cup in her hand. "Who knew Berry had such a hot body hidden underneath those atrocious animal sweaters of hers."

Quinn had to compose herself before speaking. "I wasn't staring," she insisted, though her eyes never left Rachel's legs. Quinn quickly took a long swallow of whatever was in the cup Santana handed her. "Wine? Aren't we classy today," she joked.

"Yeah well, when Santana Lopez has a party she does it right, besides my parents are away and left their wine cellar unlocked. That's like practically begging me to help myself. So what are your plans for Berry?"

"Plans?"

"Yeah, how are you going to seduce her?"

"Santana! I am going to do no such thing!"

"Please tell me I'm not going to have to do everything for you?"

"Did she come with Finn?"

"I don't think so, but he has been making stupid faces at her this whole time. I can't tell if he's trying to attract her, or repulse her because he kinda looks like he's just has bad gas. You're going to have to get in there and mark what's yours."

"Santana, first of all, Rachel is not mine, and second, she's not a piece of property that I can just claim. I don't even know how she feels about me."

"Well, get her drunk and make her talk. I've already made her a drink, she's well on her way," Santana said with a smirk.

"You didn't!" Quinn chastised her.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help you out. You're not going to get anywhere if you don't actually join the party."

Quinn let Santana grab her hand and pull her towards the group of Glee girls. She dropped her bags on one of the lounge chairs and took another sip of her wine, gathering courage to walk up to Rachel.

"Quinn! You made it!" Rachel squealed and gave her a big hug.

"Hey, Rachel." Quinn returned the hug and tried to ignore the butterflies in her stomach as Rachel pressed her practically bare body against hers.

"I don't get it," Rachel whispered in Quinn's ear with a giggle. "I thought Santana lived in Lima Heights, this is the opposite of Lima Heights."

Quinn stepped back from Rachel, needing to put some space between herself and the obviously tipsy girl. She couldn't handle Rachel's warm breath tickling her ear, without giving herself away, and she just wasn't ready for that. "It's because Santana feels the need to keep a bad ass image about her, but deep down she's just a spoiled rich girl."

Rachel giggled again. "I see that," she said, gesturing to the large pool and backyard in general.

"Hey, Rachel. Everything ok over here?" Finn asked, walking up to the girls.

"Just fine," she replied, smiling up at him.

Quinn gritted her teeth and faked a smile. "Why would anything be wrong?"

"Well you know, the two of you aren't exactly friends, and especially after losing Nationals, just wanted to make sure no one was bothering Rachel."

Quinn couldn't stand the way Rachel was looking at him and wished the ground would suddenly open up and swallow Finn whole. "It's a Glee bonding party Finn, that's what we are doing, bonding." Quinn grabbed Rachel by her wrist and dragged her away to where Santana and Brittany were standing.

"Is he always all over you like that?" Quinn asked once they were away from him.

Rachel shrugged. "I never really noticed. He's a good guy Quinn, you should know, you did date him."

Quinn involuntarily shuddered. "Don't remind me. So what plans do you have for this party?" she asked Santana, trying to get off the subject of Finn.

"Drinking, and well, more drinking," Santana answered. "What else do we need?"

"Maybe we should swim?" Rachel suggested. "It is supposed to be a pool party after all, right?"

"Um, drinking and the pool might not be the best idea," Quinn said quickly, though she really wasn't sure she was going to be able to handle it, if Rachel took her shorts off.

"You do have a valid point," Rachel said.

"You're sentences are way too coherent, you need more to drink," Santana said, taking Rachel's empty cup and went to the bar to fix another drink.

"You guys are like, super cute together," Brittany said as soon as Santana walked away.

Quinn spit out her wine, trying not to choke on it.

"What?" Rachel asked, clearly confused.

_Damn Santana, not being able to keep anything from Brittany_, Quinn thought to herself.

"I'm just glad we're all getting along and being nice to each other I mean," Brittany said quickly, as she saw the look on Quinn's face.

"Oh, well yes, it is nice to all be friends," Rachel agreed.

"Here, Berry. Drink up."

"What is it?" Rachel asked, swishing the liquid around her red plastic cup.

"Only my parents best bottle of wine, don't worry, it's good."

Rachel took a sip cautiously. "You're not trying to get me so inebriated that I can't fight for myself are you?"

"Just chill Berry, no one is going to beat you up. I'm over it, I'm sure everyone else is, too."

Rachel smiled and stuck her hand out towards Santana. "Truce?"

"Yeah sure whatever," Santana said, rolling her eyes as she shook Rachel's hand.

"Rachel, we need you to determine who has the better falsetto," Kurt said, coming over and dragging Rachel away.

"You're real smooth," Santana said as soon as Rachel was out of hearing distance.

"I'm sorry, but your girlfriend almost ruined everything," Quinn said, throwing a glare in Bittany's direction.

"I'm really sorry Quinn. I just want everyone to be as happy as San and I are, I thought I was helping. Santana told me why you were always so mean to Rachel, because you like her and I just don't want anyone to fight anymore."

Maybe it was the wine or the fact that she found it hard to be mad at Brittany, but Quinn felt her anger quickly subside. "It's fine, Brittany. Please Santana, don't tell anyone else."

"I won't."

Quinn quickly spun around when she heard Rachel shriek and saw all the guys throwing water balloons at the group of Glee kids.

"What did I ever see in any of them," she muttered.

"I ask myself that all the time," Santana said, as she put an arm around Brittany pulling her close, and kissing her softly on the cheek.

"Ok you two, get a room." Quinn quickly finished her wine and went over to the large outdoor bar to make another drink. She wondered if she would ever have the courage to hold Rachel or any girl for that matter like that. The thought caused her heart to race and a wave of nausea to rush through her. She took a shot of whiskey to help calm her nerves.

"How can you do that?"

She spun around and found herself face to face with Rachel. Drops of water from the water balloon fight dripped down the smaller girls taunt abs and Quinn couldn't help but stare. "How do I do what?" she stammered, her cheeks turning embarrassingly red.

"Take a shot like that. Isn't is gross?" Rachel asked, crinkling her nose is disgust.

"Not once you get used to it," Quinn shrugged. She took one more shot for good measure and finally began to feel the alcohol kick in, and her walls come down. "Want to go talk somewhere?"

"Um, ok?" Rachel answered, a little unsure of what Quinn's motives were. Rachel let Quinn lead her since she had never been inside Santana's house before. "Are her parents home?"

"No, they are hardly ever here." Quinn bought Rachel upstairs to one of the spare bedrooms that she usually used when she stayed overnight. She was going on pure adrenaline and fake confidence from the whiskey.

"Is this some trick or something? Can anyone even hear me if I yell for help?" Rachel asked, looking out the window to the rest of the Glee club below.

Quinn felt her heart break at the distrust that Rachel showed, and she knew there was no one to blame but herself. "I'm really sorry," she said, tears coming to her eyes.

"About what?" Rachel asked turning away from the window and back towards Quinn. "Wait, are you crying?"

Quinn wiped at her tears, sat on the bed, and motioned for Rachel to sit next to her. "I hate that you even have to question my motives for just wanting to talk to you."

"I think have good reason."

"You do, I'm not disputing that. I also have a really good reason why I treated you the way I did."

"You do?"

Quinn took a deep breath, it was now or never. "Before I start, are you and Finn, together?"

"No, I mean he wants to be, but I don't know. I've told him many times, I'm going to New York and nothings going to stop me. Anyway, you didn't pull me away to talk about Finn, right?"

"I…it's just that…" Quinn paused, she had thought about it for a while now, what she'd say to Rachel, and now that she had the opportunity, nothing was coming to mind.

"It's ok Quinn. You don't have to be scared, whatever it is you want to say to me." Rachel moved closer to Quinn and wiped the tears that were falling from her face.

Quinn inhaled sharply as Rachel's bare leg came in contact with hers, it was warm and soft and didn't help gather her thoughts at all. Her face felt like it was on fire where Rachel's fingertips had gently wiped her tears away.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes, sorry I'm fine. I just feel so awful for how I treated you. It's just that I started to feel things when I was around you, things I have been taught my whole life are wrong. I didn't know how to act, so it was easier to torture you. Pretty messed up, huh?"

Rachel was quiet for a moment, letting what Quinn had just revealed for her to sink in. It was taking a little longer than normal, thanks to the alcohol Santana had made her consume. "You have feelings for me?" Rachel asked softly.

Quinn barely nodded her head yes, not sure if she was ready to say it out loud. She slowly turned to look Rachel in the eyes and was relieved to see that Rachel was smiling.

"I may have had a little bit of an inkling."

"You did?"

Rachel closed the gap between them, letting her eyes flutter close as she gently and hesitantly kissed Quinn on the lips.

Quinn's eyes slammed shut as soon as Rachel's lips made contact with her own. Rachel's lips were soft and tasted like a mix of wine and strawberry lip gloss. She grew a little bolder, letting her hands slowly dance up Rachel's back before resting on her hips.

Soft moans escaped Rachel's lips as she pressed harder into Quinn. "Are you…is this ok?" she asked hesitantly, breaking contact with Quinn.

Quinn whimpered at the lost of contact. "Is it ok with you?"

"Very much so," Rachel said before kissing Quinn again.

Quinn began to relax and relish in the fact that she was finally kissing Rachel, after years about wondering what it would be like. She had no intentions of going back down to that party.

**/**

Quinn awoke the next morning, very sober and very aware that someone was next to her. It took her a moment to remember the events of last night, and slowly put the pieces together. There was a lot of talking, drinking, and kissing. Her heart began to pound in her chest and she felt like she was going to have a panic attack. Rachel's arm draped across her chest felt like a lead weight and she was having a hard time remembering to breathe. _This can't be happening, _she thought to herself. Even in her panicked state, she couldn't help but pause and admire how beautiful Rachel looked while she was sleeping. It was short lived as the panic once again took over and Quinn had to get out. She moved very slowly as to not wake Rachel in her panicked frenzy. She froze as Rachel stirred, mumbling something about the spot light not being bright enough, and went right back to sleep. Quinn breathed a sigh of relief, grabbed her bags and quickly ran out of Santana's house.

_**Back to present day**_

Quinn was rudely interrupted from her daydream as the second period bell rang out through the outside speakers. She wiped at the tears that were still falling from her face, remembering that day as if it had been yesterday. Running away that day had been one of the stupidest things she had ever done. The other was what Santana liked to call Quinn's great gay panic of summer 2011, which included dying her hair, getting an awful tattoo, and doing anything she could to get Rachel out of her mind.

**/**

_No, I don't want to say goodnightI know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams, tonight_

Rachel threw her pen across her bedroom in frustration. She had thought that making a pros and cons list as to why she should marry Finn would get Quinn's conversation with her in the bathroom this morning out of her head, but all it did was make it worse. She flopped on her bed dramatically and reached for her phone, thinking about what she wanted to say before hitting send. She sighed as Quinn's phone went right to voice mail and took a deep breath before leaving a message. "Quinn, it's Rachel. I really wish you would pick up the phone. I have something I need to say, and I'd prefer not to say it over a voice message, but I guess I have no choice. I'm sitting here, making a list of why I should and shouldn't marry Finn, and I need to know what else you were going to say in the bathroom today. I know you aren't against me marrying Finn just because you think he'll drag me down and ruin my career. If I tell you what I have to tell you, then maybe you'll tell me what you really meant. Want to know what my biggest con on my list is, Quinn? It says, Finn isn't Quinn. He isn't you, Quinn…he isn't you," she repeated softly, trying to act like she wasn't crying. "I'm giving you until midnight to respond either by text or verbally, or I will be saying yes to Finn tomorrow in Glee, you might not want to be there. Good night, Quinn."

**/**

Quinn didn't know how she had any tears left to cry, yet here she was listening to Rachel's message for the fifth time, sobbing uncontrollably. She knew in her heart what she wanted to do, but at just the mere thought of telling Rachel how she really felt, she felt a panic attack quickly coming on. If her chest was tightening at just the thought of telling Rachel how she felt, there was no way she was going to be able to actually tell her. She knew she was a coward, it was one of the things she hated about herself. Hell, if Rachel hadn't told Finn that Puck was the father of her baby, she would have never told anyone. She had always admired how Rachel was so strong, saying what she wanted no matter what people thought about her. As much as it made her feel sick to think about Rachel actually marrying Finn, she knew she wasn't going to stop her, or well at least not for the reasons that Rachel wanted her to admit. Images of Rachel and Finn together began to fill her head and she barley made it to the bathroom in time to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

**/**

Rachel paced outside the choir room as the warning bell rang, deep down she knew Quinn wasn't coming, but she had hoped she'd stop her at the last minute. Rachel glanced around the hallway one more time, but it was evident Quinn wasn't coming, come to think of it, Rachel hadn't seen her all day, she probably wasn't even in school today. With a deep breath, she put on her best show face and walked into the choir room. "Hello fellow Glee clubbers, I have a big announcement to make."

**/**

_I know that if we give this a little timeIt'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna findIt's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right_

**6 months later**

"I can't believe I'm leaving my little girl at college."

Quinn rolled her eyes in an attempt to stop her own tears from falling. "I'll be fine Mom."

"If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to call and I'll hop on a plane and fly right over."

"Okay Mom," Quinn said as she hugged her Mom one final time. "You have to leave or you'll miss your flight back to Lima."

Judy looked at her watch hugged Quinn a little tighter. "Have fun, but not too much fun."

"I promise I'll be fine." Quinn closed the door behind her Mom, saying goodbye one last time, sat on her bed and collected herself before her roommate moved in. The last six months flew by and she couldn't really believe that her freshman year at Yale started tomorrow. After ignoring Rachel's pleas to give her a reason to stop the wedding, she threw herself back into the Cheerios and quit the Glee Club. She couldn't bear to watch Rachel and Finn plan their wedding and sing love songs to each other everyday. She helped the Cheerios win another national title, and sat in the front row as New Directions easily beat the Warblers to go on and win Regionals. She was also not surprised when the club then went on to win Nationals, no doubt in part to Rachel's bone chilling solo she once again wrote on her own. Quinn knew by the pointed glances Rachel kept throwing her way throughout the performance that the song was about her, but she still couldn't bring herself to say anything. Graduation came and went, and she briefly let her guard down, allowing Rachel to swoop her into a big hug as they all tossed their caps into the air. She decided to lay low with Santana and Brittany all summer, trying to hear as little as possible about the impending Berry/Hudson wedding. A sharp knock and the twisting of the doorknob shook Quinn from her thoughts and she rose off the bed to greet her new roommate.

"Quinn! It's so good to finally meet you face to face instead of on the phone."

Quinn smiled warmly at Katie. The two had formed a good friendship already over the summer. "Hey Roomie." Quinn took a bag from the girl's hand and gave her a half hug.

"I'm so excited! I have so many ideas on how to decorate the room. I hope you don't mind stars, they're kinda my thing."

Quinn froze momentarily, "Did you just say stars?" she questioned.

"Yeah, like the glow in the dark ones, I thought it'd be so cool to put all over the ceiling. Is that ok?"

Quinn took Katie liking stars as a small sign that everything was going to work out the way it was supposed to. "We're going to get along just fine," Quinn said with a smile.

**/**

"Finn please, I need a decision."

Finn looked at the book of color swatches with a glazed look in his eyes. "I don't know Rachel, they all look the same to me."

"The same! How can they look the same?" Rachel shrieked, her voice raising to an inaudible decible. "You have not made one decision in this whole wedding process. I just want to know that you care."

"I do care, but all these colors are giving me a headache, isn't it something Kurt should be helping you with? I mean, is there really a big difference between gold and goldenrod?"

"Of course there is! Can't you see it right here? Do you think the bridesmaid dresses should be black with gold accents or gold with black accents?" Rachel asked as she walked over to the coffee table and grabbed the sample book. She turned back around to see that Finn wasn't even listening and his attention was back on the tv in front of him. "Finn!"

"Whatever you think looks best," he answered noncommittally.

"What did I just ask you?" Rachel challenged him.

"Um, something about dresses?"

Rachel took a step between him and the tv, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "I don't even care if you close your eyes and pick a color, you're doing it."

"Come on, Rach you're blocking the tv."

"Just pick a color and I'll move," Rachel responded stubbornly, one hand on her hip, the other shoving the book in his face.

"That's it!" Finn yelled as he stood up from the couch. "I've had enough of this!" He grabbed the book out of Rachel's hand and flung the book across the room.

Rachel watched wordlessly as the book hit the wall and slid down, landing with a loud thud. "What was that for?" she asked, turning back to him.

"I really don't care Rachel. I could care less about what color the dresses are."

"You really don't care?" Rachel asked softly. "You really don't care," she repeated, as a sense of realization came over her. "Well let's see if you care about this." She ripped the engagment ring from her finger and threw it at Finn, hitting him square in the chest. "I need some time, don't bother trying to find me." She grabbed her phone, purse, jacket, and stormed out of the door before Finn could even think about stopping her.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Santana asked as she walked into the living room. "Wait, where's Rachel?"

"I don't know," Finn replied.

Santana saw the book of samples on the other side of the room and a ring in Finn's hand. "Looks like you messed up."

"Thanks for stating the obvious. How am I supposed to make my flight back to Lima now?"

"I think you have better things to worry about," Santana informed him, gesturing to the ring he was holding.

"What you said was really mean," Brittany said as she walked in behind Santana.

"You heard?"

"Finn, you really are dense aren't you? It's a small apartment in New York City with paper thin walls, of course we heard everything. You're lucky Brittany held me back as long as she did, I was about to go all Lima Heights on your ass."

"Remind me why you three are living together again?"

Santana rolled her eyes before she answered him. "You really don't listen to Rachel, do you? Brittany is dancing at Juliard, which is practially joined with NYADA, and I'm pre law at NYU. It made most sense, the more people, the less rent you have to pay. Besides, Rachel's not so bad now that we're out of high school. If you ever tell her I said that, I'll kill you."

"Besides, Quinn told us-"

Santana nudged Brittany in the side to prevent her from finishing her sentence.

"Wait, what does Quinn have to do with any of this?"

"None of your business. I think you have a lot of apologizing to do."

"How am I supposed to get to the airport and make my flight on time?"

"Go hail a taxi, or maybe you shouldn't have been such an ass to Rachel," Santana said as she turned on her heel and went back to her room.

"Good luck Finn, I think you made a really big mistake."

"What were you going to say about Quinn?"

Brittany looked over her shoulder before moving a few steps closer to Finn and whispered in his ear. "Quinn wanted to make sure someone kept an eye on Rachel. She was worried about her being in New York on her own."

"Britt, are you coming?" Santana called from her bedroom.

Brittany gave Finn a quick hug. "Have a safe trip back."

**/**

"Come on Quinn, you have to come out tonight! You haven't gone to a party yet!"

"I have a huge exam Monday, I better just study."

"It's Friday night you have plenty of time."

"Go, have fun Katie, we'll have some roommate bonding time tomorrow, I promise."

"Fine, but we'll all be on the fourth floor if you decide to join us."

"Have fun," Quinn called out as her roommate left for the night. She got out her text books and high lighters, put her iPod on low, and settled in for a night of studying. Not even five minutes later there was a pounding at the door, which interrupted her reading. She sighed as she shut off her music, she should have went to the library. "Katie left for the night," she called out to whoever was pounding on the door. Instead of going away, the pounding at the door grew even louder. Quinn capped her highlighter and went to the door, assuming it was a lost drunken student.

"Would you know the difference between gold and goldenrod?" Rachel asked in a huff as she brushed right past Quinn and let herself into the small dorm room.

Quinn stood at the door in shock that Rachel Berry had just stormed into her room. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

"How hard is it to just pick a color?" Rachel raged on. "I asked him to do one tiny thing and he couldn't even do that." Rachel paced back and forth, as her rage continued. "Do you know he hasn't lifted a finger to do a thing for this wedding? Yet here I am, going to school, going on auditions, and I still find time to plan the wedding. All I wanted was his imput on gold accents, well because gold stars are my metaphor and-"

"Metaphors are important," Quinn said softly, which stopped Rachel dead in her tracks. She finally got over her shock enough to close the door and sit down on her bed. "How did you get in here?" she asked, taking advantage of the fact that Rachel was quiet for a moment.

"Don't you know I can cry on demand," she said with a smile, her rage temporarily forgotten. "I made up some story about losing my key and the kind security guard led me right to you."

Quinn smiled, she had missed Rachel and her antics. Her eyes were soon drawn to the fact that Rachel's left ring finger was bare.

Rachel followed Quinn's line of vision. "I threw it at him."

Quinn couldn't help but laugh, but quickly stopped when she saw tears begin to fall from Rachel's eyes.

Rachel tried to stop the tears, but they fell down her face quickly and soon turned into body raking sobs. She found herself in Quinn's arms, and broke down completely. "I'm so sorry."

"Excuse me?" Quinn asked in surprise. The last thing she expected to hear from Rachel was an apology.

"I should have never agreed to marry Finn. You were right, it's a dumb idea. I just wanted to feel loved, I wanted someone to love me so badly. I needed to have a plan in case I didn't get into NYADA."

Quinn could feel her heart begin to break as Rachel cried and confessed to her. She began to rub small circles on the small of her back in an attempt to calm her down. "You are so loved, Rachel, more than you'll ever know. Finn loves you," she added quickly, not wanting to give herself away.

Rachel stepped back from Quinn and looked her right in the eyes. "Right, Finn loves me," she said between sobs. "Is he the only one?" she asked, her voice had the slight hint of hope in it.

Quinn's heart began to pound hard against her chest, she had to turn her eyes away from Rachel's intense gaze. This was too much, too fast. One minute she was studying, the next the girl she has been madly in love with for years was suddenly in her dorm room out of the blue. She needed to sit down and gather herself.

"Are you ok? Maybe I shouldn't have come all this way, I'm sorry for litterally just barging in on you like this, completely unannounced. It was terribly rude of me, it's just that, Finn and I had this awful fight, and I grabbed my stuff and just left. I got in my car and next thing I knew, I was headed down here to you. Maybe I should go?"

Quinn let everything Rachel was saying sink in. "No, wait, don't go. I don't want you driving when you're this upset. At least stay the night?"

Rachel wiped her remaining tears away. "Thanks for being so understanding about me just showing up. I didn't know what else to do."

"I'm glad you came," Quinn said, and she meant it. _Everything happens for a reason_, she thought to herself, and there had to be a reason that Rachel had a fight with Finn and now was here with her. She knew there was no way she would get back to studying, so she put her books away and then got some clothes for Rachel to change in to. "Here are some clothes you'll be more comfortable in to sleep tonight. The bathroom is down the hall if you want to change in there."

Rachel couldn't help but giggle despite her tears. "Quinn, it's not like we have never changed in front of each other before. I'll be quick." She took a moment to put her purse down, take off her coat and quickly change into the sweats and t shirt Quinn had handed her.

Quinn busied herself with tyding up the bed, in an effort to not stare as Rachel changed in front of her.

"I hope I didn't ruin any big plans you had for tonight. I suppose I should call Santana and Brittany so they don't worry about me," she said, as her sobs finally subsided to small hiccups.

"How is that, living with them?"

"You know we all live together?" Rachel asked in surprise.

Quinn shrugged, "I may have suggested it to Santana."

"Why?"

"New York's a big city, it would be foolish for the three of you to not help each other out."

"Quinn, you were worried about me, weren't you?" Rachel asked. It all made sense now. "I was a little surprised when Santana first approached me about the idea of living together, but you put it all in motion, didn't you?"

"I just wanted to make sure someone was looking out for you, since Finn obviously wasn't, staying back in Lima and all."

Rachel grabbed Quinn into a big hug. "Thank you. It means a lot that you cared, considering you hardly said two words to me in the last what, 6 months or so?"

"Want to watch a movie or something?" Quinn asked, trying to change the subject.

Rachel caught on to the hint. "Sure, whatever you want." She made herself comfortable on Quinn's bed, moving over against the wall so Quinn could climb in as well. "Do you have a nice roommate?"

Quinn cautiously climbed into her bed making sure to leave as much as she could in a twin sized bed between herself and Rachel. "Yes, her name is Katie and she is very nice."

Rachel tried to stifle a yawn, but the days events and driving all the way to Yale were beginning to catch up with her. "Mind if we skip the movie?"

"Not at all," Quinn responded as Rachel began to cuddle up to her. She reached over and flipped off the over head light before allowing herself to snugle up to Rachel.

"I've really missed you," Rachel said, snuggling right into the crook of Quinn's neck.

Quinn didn't answer immediately, savoring the feeling or Rachel so close, her lavender seceded shampoo filling her nose. "Me too, Rachel. I'm really sorry for cutting you off for so long."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Why did you?"

Quinn went quiet again for a moment as she thought about how she wanted to respond. She couldn't very well tell her the truth, could she? After all this time of keeping it inside, was it finally time to tell Rachel everything and she meant everything, not just bits and pieces, and while she was sober?

Rachel could tell by Quinn's silence that what she was going to say wasn't easy. She snuggled in closer, squeezing Quinn's hand to reassure her.

Quinn took a deep breath, it was now or never. "I had to physically distance myself from you, Glee, anything that reminded me of you. It hurt too much to hear you plan your wedding with Finn, it hurt so bad because, I love you Rachel. I'm _in _love with you."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the alerts and reviews, I really appreciate it! Hope you enjoy the rest of this story!**

**A/N2: For all intents and purposes, Shelby never came back with Beth for this story, because I really didn't like how Glee handled that story line.**

**A/N3: Looks like there will be more than 2 parts like I thought originally. Hope you all don't mind!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or its characters, etc Also, I've used some bits and pieces of Christina Perri's 1000 Years to fit the story**

**A Shot in the Dark **

**Part 2**

_Heart beats fast_

_Colors and promises _

_How to be brave _

_How can I love when I'm afraid _

_To fall _

_But watching you stand alone _

_All of my doubt _

_Suddenly goes away somehow _

Quinn took a deep breath, it was now or never. "I had to physically distance myself from you, Glee, and anything else that reminded me of you. It hurt too much to hear you plan your wedding with Finn, it hurt so bad because, I love you Rachel. I'm _in _love with you." Quinn was scared to open her eyes and look at Rachel who still had yet to say anything. "Please say something," she whispered.

"I've been waiting a long time for you to finally say that, without the influence of alcohol," Rachel said after a few minutes had passed. She shifted her weight away from Quinn and untangled their hands so she could sit up and face the other girl. "Open your eyes, Quinn, it's ok, there's nothing to be afraid of."

Quinn let out the breath she had been holding as she slowly opened her eyes and sat cross legged across from Rachel. "Do you…do you feel the same?" Quinn asked, though she was afraid of the answer.

"Quinn I wouldn't have kissed you that night at Santana's, had I not felt the same way about you, that I knew deep down you felt about me. I still have so many unanswered questions, so many things we need to sort out before any type of possible relationship could happen, do you understand?" Rachel asked gently.

Quinn saw Rachel's mouth was moving and she was sure she was saying something important, but nothing else registered besides the fact that Rachel felt the same way for her. Sure, deep down inside, Quinn knew Rachel had feelings for her, but it was a whole other story to actually hear Rachel say it. She felt nervous and excited at the same time. So many feelings and thoughts she had kept hidden since the day she first laid eyes on Rachel were now finally able to come out in the open.

"Did you hear a thing I just said?" Rachel asked, as she stopped talking when she noticed Quinn looked a million miles away. She placed her index finger lightly under Quinn's chin and tilted her face upwards, so Quinn had to look her in the eyes. "Where did you just go?"

"I'm sorry, it's just that, this is all really new and scary to me. You have to understand Rachel, that I've felt this way about you for so long. I only told you a little bit about me that night when we were drinking at Santana's, and I'm just relieved I was finally able to say it out loud to you."

Rachel's smile suddenly turned into a frown. "What about Finn?" she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Finn?" Quinn asked. "What does he have to do with this?"

"I'm technically still with him, Quinn. I can't just up and leave him, that wouldn't be right or fair to him. Can you imagine how he will react when he finds out that there might possibly be something between us? It's not going to be good."

Quinn felt her heart slowly begin to break as Rachel mentioned Finn and also Rachel's use of the word _might _possibly be something there. In her haste to tell Rachel how she really felt, she completely forgot that Finn was still in the picture, that there were other people who were undoubtedly going to find out her secret once Finn found out. She was suddenly gasping for air, panic attack coming on at full speed, and she couldn't breathe. "Can't…breathe," she gasped out, grabbing at her hoodie, needing to get it off her body. Her small dorm room felt as though the walls were coming in around her, making it even smaller if possible.

Rachel knew immediately that Quinn was having another one of her panic attacks. "Look me in the eyes, Quinn. You're going to be ok. First, let's take off this hoodie." Rachel lifted the grey Yale hoodie over Quinn's head and tossed it to the floor. "Now, put you hand on my heart, ok? Breathe with me Quinn."

Quinn took several long, deep breaths, matching Rachel's breathing pattern. Slowly, she began to feel her heart rate return to normal, and she was able to breathe again.

"Better?"

Quinn nodded yes, not trusting herself to speak. This wasn't exactly how she had planned this conversation going. Then again, she hadn't really planned on ever telling Rachel at all. She had been foolish to think that Rachel would just fall into her arms, proclaim her love, and they'd live happily ever after.

"It wouldn't be fair to either of us if we just rushed into a relationship," Rachel explained, as if she had read Quinn's mind. "Let's be honest here Quinn, we were just becoming friends when you cut me out of your life. There is so much we need to learn about each other, don't you agree?"

Quinn hated to admit it, but Rachel was right, and she hated herself for wanting to cry. It's not like Rachel had laughed in her face, or told her she wasn't interested at all, she was just bringing up very valid points.

"I think what would be best for both of us is to sleep on this, and continue this conversation in the morning. We can spend all day tomorrow getting to really know each other ok?"

"Would you feel more comfortable if I slept in Katie's bed? She probably won't come back tonight."

"Don't be silly, Quinn. You're staying right here next to me."

Quinn didn't argue with Rachel, she knew she wouldn't win, but she also knew there was no way she was going to be getting any sleep tonight.

_One step closer…_

**/**

_Time stands still beauty in all she is _

_I will be brave I will not let anything _

_Take away _

_What's standing in front of me _

_Every breath, _

_Every hour has come to this_

Rachel awoke with a start the next morning, her internal clock screaming that she had overslept past her normal workout time. It took her a moment to remember where she was, but hitting her head against the cool concrete wall behind her, and the beautiful girl who was tangled up in her, quickly reminded her she was in Quinn's dorm room. A small smile came over her face as she replayed Quinn's words, _I'm in love with you, _over and over again in her head. She slowly reached above her head for her cell phone, trying not to wake Quinn, who had her arm wrapped around her torso, as she moved. She was even more beautiful while she slept, if that was possible. How lucky was she that the most beautiful girl in the world not only loved her, but was _in _love with her. She swiped her thumb across her iPhone, wanting to take a picture of Quinn, so she could remember this moment for the rest of her life. Unfortunately, there were a bunch of texts and missed calls she had to go through first. Not surprising were the few from Finn apologizing for his actions, as well as the missed calls from him. She deleted them, determined to make the most of the rest of the day with Quinn and worry about Finn later. She fired off a quick text to Santana, apologizing for never letting her know she was safe and sound, then took a few pictures of Quinn just in time before the sleeping girl began to stir awake.

"You're really here," Quinn said, eyes still closed, and her voice groggy. "I was afraid it was all a dream."

"I'm really here," Rachel confirmed and it scared and surprised herself at how easily she could imagine waking up to Quinn every morning for the rest of her life. Her hand seemed to take on a mind of its own as she gently brushed the hair out of Quinn's eyes, and ran her hand down her smooth cheek. She slowly leaned in close to Quinn, eyes fluttering closed and was just about to kiss her, when her phone went off, causing both of them to jump away from each other.

Rachel sighed in frustration as she slid her thumb across the screen and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Glad to know you're not dead, Berry."

"It's so cute that you care, Santana."

"If you tell anyone I called to check up on you, I'll deny it and tell everyone you're lying and starving for attention, and it was Brittany who was really worried. Where did you go anyway?"

"I'm with Quinn," Rachel admitted quietly.

"Geez, you move on fast. I'm impressed Berry."

"Santana!" Rachel chastised. "It's not like that. Absolutely nothing has happened between Quinn and I, and nothing will happen until I discuss things with Finn. How was he after I left?"

Quinn couldn't help but feel her stomach churn at Rachel's concern over Finn. She didn't know the whole story of what happened with them last night, but it still irked her to no end that Rachel cared so much about him. She wondered how much of a problem Finn was going to be to her and Rachel's impending relationship. "I'm just going to get in the shower quick," Quinn whispered. She gathered her things quickly and left Rachel to finish her conversation with Santana.

Rachel shook her head and mouthed OK, in Quinn's direction, letting her know she heard her, and went back to her call with Santana.

"He was his normal douche bag self."

"Santana, that doesn't help me."

"Honestly, Rachel, he was more concerned about how he was going to get to the airport, than he seemed about the fact that you walked out, and he was holding your ring."

"You just called me Rachel."

"I'm not always a heartless bitch, you know. Just because I never saw what you and Quinn saw in him, I still know it's going to be a hard time for you."

Rachel couldn't believe how nice Santana was being towards her, but she was really glad she had someone she could talk to about Finn, because she felt that it was rude to discuss him with Quinn. "Thanks Santana, I really appreciate it."

"So what's Q up to?"

"She told me she's in love with me!"

"No shit, she finally told you?"

"Wait, you knew?"

"Oh come on, anyone with eyes could tell she was in love with you. I don't know how you were so oblivious for so long."

"I guess there were some signs early on," Rachel agreed after thinking about it for a moment. Rachel jumped as the doorknob turned and someone started to walk in. "I have to go, Quinn's back from her shower."

"Have fun, and tell me everything when you get back Berry. Actually, I don't want to know everything, the thought of you and Q together makes me sick to my stomach."

"Very funny, Santana. Oh yeah, tell Brittany I'm sorry I worried her and she made you call me." Rachel quickly hung up the phone before Quinn came in and Santana could come up with another witty comment.

"You're not Quinn," Katie commented, confused on who was in her roommate's bed.

"You're not Quinn either," Rachel laughed. "You must be Katie, Quinn's roommate. I'm Rachel, a friend I guess you can call me, from high school." Rachel got up off the bed to properly introduce herself and shake hands with Katie.

"Oh, so you're Rachel."

"You've heard about me?" Rachel asked out of curiosity.

"Heard about you? Quinn talks about you non stop, I think I may know you better than I know her."

"Quinn's like that. It takes her a while to warm up and let her walls down."

"I'd love to hear about high school Quinn," Katie said, getting comfortable on her bed.

"Oh boy, where do I start," Rachel laughed and got comfortable across from her on Quinn's bed.

**/**

Quinn let the scalding hot water pound on her tense shoulders and back, hoping it would help wash away some tension. She had always imagined telling Rachel that she loved her, and now that she knows, she almost wished she could take it back. It was dumb of her to just blurt it out, when she had no idea about the actual nature of Rachel and Finn's relationship. Maybe she was too late, maybe Rachel had decided once and for all to be with Finn, but there had to be a reason Rachel drove all the way here after the fight, right? And what was with the new friendship between Rachel and Santana? She didn't know why, but that made her stomach churn too. Was she actually jealous of them, when it was her idea all along to have Santana keep an eye out on Rachel in the city? This is exactly why she had never let her true feelings show, because it's just a big mess and she now has no idea where to go from here. Maybe she should have just worked on becoming better friends with Rachel and let that turn into love? She groaned in frustration with her life and the fact that the water was now turning cold. She turned the faucet off, and figured she better get back to Rachel before Rachel came looking for her. She quickly dried herself off, got dressed, and went back towards her dorm room. She reached out for her doorknob, pausing mid turn when she heard two distinct laughs. "Oh no," she muttered as she realized what was going on. "I can't handle this right now," she said out loud as she walked into her room.

"Quinn! How come you never told me you were a cheerleader? I would have never guessed you for the cheerleader, head bitch, going out to parties type." Katie bombarded her as soon as she walked in.

Quinn threw a glare to Rachel before turning to face her roommate. "What else did she tell you?"

"That was it, pretty much, but how come you won't party with me?"

Quinn shrugged. "It's just not all it's cracked up to be." She turned back towards Rachel. "If you want to shower and get dressed you can use my stuff. I'm sure I have some clothes here that will fit you." She got out a clean towel, some clothes, and shoved them in Rachel's direction.

"It was nice meeting you and talking with you, Katie, incase you're not here when I get back."

"Nice meeting you too, Rachel. I'm hope you'll come visit again soon." Katie made sure Rachel was out of earshot before turning to Quinn. "So that's the infamous Rachel. No wonder you're so in love with her, she's hot."

Quinn stared at her roommate, not sure what to say. "How'd you know I was in love with her?"

"Come on, Quinn. You talk about her non stop, bragging about how great she is, and how she got accepted into NYADA out of thousands of applicants. Besides, you get this dreamy look on your face when you talk about her." Katie said as she made kiss faces at Quinn.

"I do not," Quinn pouted, but she knew it was true, and she was extremely embarrassed. "Jerk!" she said with a smile, and went to her dresser to run a brush through her wet hair.

"How come you didn't tell me she was coming for the weekend anyway?"

"Honestly, I had no idea she was coming. She got into a fight with her fiancé and came here."

"Whoa, wait, back up. She has a fiancé, and you've been in love with her for how long?"

Quinn sighed and plopped down onto her bed. "It's a really long story and I promise I'll fill you all in with some roomie bonding time when she leaves, ok?"

"Sounds good, I'll bring the ice cream. What are you two up to today, anyway?"

"Whatever she wants to do probably. I don't know when she's going to want to leave to go back to New-" Quinn paused mid sentence as Rachel walked back in from her shower, and couldn't help but stare as she pulled the towel off her head, and let her long brown hair fall in ringlets around her face.

"Quinn?"

"Um, what?"

"Did you hear anything I just said?" Rachel asked.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Quinn asked as her cheeks blushed from embarrassment and it didn't help that Katie was laughing at her.

"Do you have a place for wet towels?"

"Yeah, just throw it over my closet door for now, it's fine. What did you want to do today?"

Rachel placed her long hair into a messy bun on top of her head before answering. "I was hoping we could do some more talking before I have to go. I still have work for some classes I need to get done."

"There's a cute coffee place not too far from here, they have vegan options, if you want to go there."

"You checked it out for me?" Rachel asked, with a hint of surprise in her voice. "That's so sweet of you Quinn."

Quinn just smiled in response.

"Well, you two have a good day, it's way too early to be awake on a Saturday, I'm going back to bed."

"See you later Katie," Quinn said as she grabbed her purse and followed Rachel out the door.

"Need me to drive or is it a quick walk?"

"It's not a bad walk and it's nice out."

Rachel walked alongside Quinn in comfortable silence, enjoying the scenery. "It's so pretty here. I mean, I love New York, but once in a while it's nice to see some nature instead of lots of tall buildings."

"I know what you mean. I'm really happy I made the choice to come here."

"It really seems to fit you Quinn, and I'm happy you're so happy."

Quinn wanted to say that she was really happy because Rachel was with her, but she didn't want to sound too sappy. "It's right here, on the left. I think they have vegan muffins and such."

"That's wonderful, Quinn! You're so thoughtful."

Quinn held the door open and followed Rachel into the small coffee shop. She figured it would be pretty quiet this early on a Saturday morning, and she was glad she had been right. She didn't need a bunch of people around to hear what she and Rachel were about to talk about. She promptly lost her appetite thinking about their impending conversation.

"Do you want anything?" Rachel asked after placing her order.

"I'm good."

"Quinn, breakfast is the more important meal of the day. You have to eat or at least drink something."

Quinn sighed, she just couldn't say no to Rachel. "Ok, ok. I'll have a small coffee and a bagel."

Rachel smiled in triumph before turning back to the cashier and handing over some money.

"You don't have to do that," Quinn insisted.

"Oh please Quinn, it's my pleasure."

"Want to sit in the back? It's a little more private back there."

Rachel sipped her coffee and picked at her muffin, while she thought about how she wanted to start this conversation with Quinn. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," Quinn said immediately. "I know I owe you a lot of explanations."

"When did you first realize you had feelings for me?"

Quinn took a deep breath. She knew Rachel deserved to know the answers to the questions she were about to ask, but it still wasn't easy answering them. "Right after I transferred here, in ninth grade."

"That long?" Rachel asked in shock, almost choking on a piece of her muffin.

Quinn nodded. "I was looking for the gym on my way to audition for the Cheerios, but I got lost and ended up in the auditorium. I was about to leave but I heard this voice, and it was like my feet became plastered to the floor. My brain was telling me to leave, because I was going to be late for my audition, but instead I sat down and listened to you sing. I had never heard anything like it before, you were amazing. It was like something came alive inside me, and all these strange feelings I had never felt before, came at me all at once. It scared me, so I left as fast as I could, and just made it in time for my audition. Then, I needed to know everything about you, so I found out how you, Brittany, and Santana had grown up together, so I grilled them to tell me about you. The more I found out about you, the more I began to like you, envy you, and in turn, despise you."

"Why despise me?" Rachel couldn't help but ask.

"You were everything I wanted to be, but couldn't. You have been and still are so true to yourself Rachel. You did what you wanted no matter what other people thought of you. You always knew what your future was going to be, going to New York and Broadway, and I had no clue where I was going with my life. I was brought up in such a different environment than you were. Appearances were always what mattered most in my family. It was always about keeping up certain appearances in public and making my parents proud of me. Why do you think my dad went along with my pleas for a nose job? It helped fit the image that he wanted of his perfect little family, which was a joke, because on the inside we were anything but perfect." Unexpected tears formed in Quinn's eyes.

Rachel reached over the table and took Quinn's hands in hers, trying to help soothe the crying girl. "You don't have to continue if you don't want to," Rachel said softly, almost on the verge of tears herself.

"No, I want to keep going. This conversation is long overdue. My parents were pushing me to get a boyfriend, and Finn was just there. I liked him enough, but you were always in the back of my mind and it drove me crazy to no end."

"So Puck was?"

"Sleeping with Puck was a few things," Quinn admitted. "The main reason was that I was terrified that I was gay and I thought maybe sleeping with him would show me that I wasn't and get you out of my head. Also, I was sick and tired of being the perfect daughter that my parents were forcing me to be, and so I sort of rebelled, but in the end it really backfired on me and I got more than I was bargaining for."

"Wow," Rachel whispered. She thought she had a pretty good idea on what was going on in Quinn's head, but there was so much more to her than she had realized. "Speaking of, have you heard from-"

"Not now," Quinn cut Rachel off before she could finish her sentence, and her smile instantly disappeared from her face. There was no way she could talk about Beth and Rachel in one day.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have bought it up."

Quinn forced her thoughts of Beth out of her mind, and back to the conversation at hand. "Finally, I couldn't handle everything anymore, so when we were at Santana's party, I just went for it. The alcohol made me feel a lot braver than I really was, and well, then the next morning I panicked."

"What I don't understand is, every time we would finally take two steps forward and get closer, you kept pushing me away. Did you ever think about how I felt when I woke up that next morning at Santana's alone? I was humiliated."

"Like I said, I panicked. I had no idea what to do. Telling you how I felt was never on my list of things to do, because I knew I could never tell my parents I'm gay."

"Are you, gay?"

Quinn didn't answer for a moment, realizing she's never really said it out loud before. "Yes, Rachel, I'm gay." Rachel's beaming smile gave Quinn all the reassurance she needed to keep going. "The rest of the summer was so hard after that, I felt awful ignoring you, but I had no idea what to do. After I kissed you it made everything just too real, and I wasn't strong enough to tell you how I felt and stand up to my parents. I was scared my mom would kick me out if she found out, and there was no way I'd go live with my dad, I didn't know what to do."

"I'm really happy that you are finally able to be true to yourself, but why now? Why tell me when you know my wedding is just around the corner? Why now, when I practically begged you to tell me when we were still in school?"

Quinn's heart dropped at the mention of Rachel's impending wedding. "Wait, aren't you going to break things off with him?"

"I am, yes, but I can't do it over the phone. It's something I need to do in person. When I go home for Thanksgiving break, I'll do it."

Quinn couldn't argue with that, it was better than Rachel choosing to marry Finn. "Ok, I've waited this long, what's another few months?" Quinn reached for her cup of coffee and was surprised to find it empty. "I'm going to get another coffee, want more?"

"Sure, thank you." Rachel couldn't help but watch Quinn as she went back to the counter to order more coffee. She was still the prettiest girl she had ever met, and to think that she wanted to be with her was something she was still trying to wrap her head around. Unfortunately her daydreaming was cut short by her ringing phone. She sighed when she saw Finn was calling again but she couldn't ignore him forever. "I told you not to call me," she said before he could even say hi.

"Well, hello to you too."

"I'm still mad at you," she informed him.

"I know but I said I was sorry a bunch of times and I really don't know what you want anymore Rachel."

"I want Quinn," she said without thinking as Quinn was sitting back down at the table.

"What did you just say?"

"It's Quinn, she's beeping in. I better take her call. I'll call you when I'm back in New York."

"Are you sure, because I could have sworn you just said you wanted Quinn."

"Don't be ridiculous Finn. Good bye."

"Everything ok?" Quinn asked as she watched Rachel hang up her phone and slam it down on the table.

"Yeah, no big deal, just Finn calling to apologize. So anyway, where were we?"

"My turn to ask some questions. When did you first realize you had feelings for me?"

"Well to be honest, my feelings weren't as immediate as yours were. It must have been shortly after you transferred because everyone was talking about some new girl, but I had no idea who it was. One day, I was mad at Mr. Schue for once again trying to ruin my life, and normally I would go to the auditorium to get my frustrations out, but it just reminded me of him, so I went outside to the bleachers. I remember just seeing a flash of blonde hair flying through the air and I immediately was mesmerized and all my problems seemed to disappear. I finally put two and two together and figured out you must be the new girl everyone was talking about. You were the prettiest girl I had ever seen, even at a distance and I just assumed you were unattainable. Once I found out you were the Cheerios Capitan and president of the celibacy club, I knew there was no way I could have you, so I just admired you from afar. Since we never really talked I couldn't for the life of me understand why you hated me so much, so one day after crying in my room, my dads forced me to talk to them."

"I made you cry?" Quinn interrupted. "I feel awful."

"Quinn, it was a long time ago, I think we can both be mature enough to move on. Anyway, I explained to my dads what was going on, and I just assumed it was because you hated me, but it was my dads who made me see it could be more than that. They told me how normally when someone likes you, they could have a strange way of showing it. So I thought about it all night and realized that maybe they had a point, and you liked me. It wasn't until they asked me why your teasing bothered me so much, and they helped me realize that I liked you back."

"Your dads were just ok with it?" Quinn questioned.

"Well, yes. Why wouldn't they be? My dads raised me to see the best in everyone, and not necessarily fall in love with a particular gender, but the person who fit me the best, and understood me, and of course, who could put up with my diva personality," Rachel added with a smirk.

"So if you assumed I liked you, and you liked me, why go after Finn?"

"Don't you see, Quinn? It was never about being with Finn. I was using Finn to get closer to you, to maybe make you jealous, to make you have a conversation with me. I even asked Finn once what it was like to kiss you, because I was sure I would never get the chance. I was only with him, because I thought it was the closest I would ever get to being with you." Rachel paused, to let all the information sink in for Quinn.

"I had no idea," Quinn admitted softly.

"I really wasn't sure how you felt until you finally kissed me at Santana's party. I was so happy to know that it wasn't all in my head, until the next day when you were suddenly gone. Then I was more confused than anything. I wasn't sure if you were just panicking or if you realized you didn't like me. When you disappeared off the face of the earth, I figured it wasn't entirely because of me, but that you had a lot on your mind." Rachel stopped before she mentioned Beth again, she didn't want to push Quinn away when they were finally getting everything out into the open.

"Then why stay with Finn?"

"I just wanted someone to love me, make me feel special." Rachel admitted, tears falling from her eyes. "You were acting like what happened at Santana's never happened, which made me feel like you didn't want me, and Finn was there. I gave you so many chances to tell me to say no to his engagement, but when you didn't stop me, I just went with it."

Quinn reached over the table to gently wipe away Rachel's tears. "I'm so sorry I ever made you feel like that. It was my own insecurities, it never had anything to do with you, though I can see why you would think that."

"I'm just happy we're having this conversation. I honestly never thought I'd see the day that Quinn Fabray would admit her love for me." Rachel glanced at the clock on the wall and couldn't believe she and Quinn had been talking for so long. "I hate to say it, but I have to head back to New York."

Quinn sighed, she wasn't ready for Rachel to leave. "Do you have to?"

"Sadly, I do. I have homework for my core classes, lines to go over for an upcoming audition, and I have to pick some songs for my voice lesson on Monday."

Quinn walked quietly alongside Rachel on their walk back to the dorms. She still had some questions, and she was sure Rachel had some more as well, but this was a much better start than she could ever hope for.

_One step closer…_


End file.
